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Watching Stuff With Our Brains Turned On

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Abraham Lincoln Vampire HunterThis wasn’t one of the movies I’d really planned on seeing in theaters, let alone on it’s opening weekend. But an old friend was in town and, after dinner, we decided to hit up a movie. Of everything that was playing that neither of us had seen, we chose Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, kind of on a whim.

I was not disappointed.

Of course, I also wasn’t expecting much.

This movie is, without a doubt, completely awful. Everything is over done. Very little (nothing if you’re familiar with horror films and standard plot twists) is surprising. As if the main concept itself weren’t ridiculous enough for you, they way it all meshes with history (the cavalcade of famous historical names and situations) should put you over that hump.

And that’s why you should definitely go and see it.

This movie is awful in all the best ways. It never has any illusions about what kind of film it is going to be. The shooting style is closer to what you’d see in an installment of the Resident Evil franchise than you would on PBS. (As I understand it, the book is written in the style of a standard historical memoir… there is absolutely no illusion of seriousness in the film.)

Pure and simple, this is popcorn-chomping camp at it’s best.

So completely over the top…

Far too many films like this take themselves too seriously in some parts and then smack you across the face with a scene of sequence that doesn’t fit with that supposed gravity. Everything in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is over the top. The drama passes directly into over-wrought melodrama. The fight sequences are amazingly over-choreographed and complex. The two climactic chases/boss fights in the film are done on a scale that’s hard to find sensible (and would have been absolutely impossible without the teams from a handful of digital special effects houses).

Nothing about this film is terribly subtle or small. Because of that, it works perfectly. Everything fits perfectly together.

(And, really, the fight sequences are pretty impressive… once you get over the idea that this is the 16th President of the United States swinging that ax around.)

I give a lot of credit to the actors and director. They pull all this ridiculousness off without a single wink to the camera, something many other films seem to think is funny (but often isn’t).

Technically, very solid…

From a purely technical point of view, this film is put together very well. The massive amounts of CGI blended well on the screen. The horribly over-designed vampires were relatively consistent to be believable in the world. The pacing and plot of the story moved and held together well. Nothing came out of nowhere–every gun used in the final scene had been on the mantle in a previous act, so to speak.

The acting was very solid. Benjamin Walker as Honest Abe was great with the physicality and, with the costuming and makeup, looked a whole lot like Abe in his presidential years. Rufus Sewell is appropriately arrogant, plotting, and utterly detestable as the big bad ancient vampire manipulating things. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is utterly charming as Mary Todd. And keep an eye out for Alan Tudyk as a well known Lincoln-related historical figure (not a lot of screen time, but as is always the case with Tudyk, golden the entire time).

Fun and funny, like I haven’t seen in a while…

As my friend I was with will confirm, I laughed more during this film than I have at most comedies I’ve gone to see in the past two decades. I haven’t seen such well executed camp and excess in a very long time (so long that I’m hard pressed to even think of the last time I was so entertained by it… perhaps an old action flick like Escape from L.A. or Big Trouble in Little China).

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter has definitely made it right to the top of my list of horrible films that I’m glad I’ve seen in the movies. (That list also includes Snakes on a Plane, seen on opening night with an audience that I’m pretty sure shouldn’t have been behind the wheel for hours after the film, and Zombie Strippers, which had some surprisingly highbrow moments in it.) It’s horrible in the best ways possible.

Go in expecting some fun, near-mindless, horror/vampire-flavored action and you won’t be disappointed. Go in expecting a movie that takes itself seriously and you’ll walk away hating it.


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