toobtalk

Watching Stuff With Our Brains Turned On

Just finished Spider-Man 3…

…and, wow am I glad I didn’t see that in the theater!

Seriously. They could have had two good movies and, instead, they crammed it all into one kinda crappy one. Pretty, though. In fact, as long as you don’t care about semi-sensible plot, proper character development or actual working story arcs, it’s the perfect movie–a collection of clips and sound bites that vaguely hang together, mostly because they have the same characters in them.

The Sandman story could have been great… if it had had space to actually grow and, maybe, brood a little. Him and Parker could have been great dramatic point and counterpoint. Different men, different choices and all that. And the fights could have escalated wonderfully as Sandman learned more about his newly acquired powers and the Webhead slowly became more attached to his black suit.

The Green Goblin II story could have been fantastic… if Harry had a chance to grow more sinister at a more measured pace after his bump on the head. Parker’s life could have been real hell as people and things he loved were taken from him one by one. All the while his emotional turmoil feeding the black symbiotic suit and making it stronger… until it culminated in the awesome knock-down, drag-out between the Web slinger and the new Goblin. A real study in rise and fall of character that would have given all the actors (even Kirsten Dunst) a workout.

The Eddie Brock/Venom story would have been perfect for a fourth film. It was just kind of sandwiched in between everything else. What a waste of that character and Gwen Stacey. ‘Nuff said there.

So, yeah. That was almost a total waste of 2+ hours.


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